TL;DR:
Every interruption costs you focus, so help that waits to be asked is usually better than help that pops up on its own.
The exceptions are things you set up on purpose, like a reminder you asked for, or a warning before a risky action.
An assistant that waits to be asked has no reason to watch your screen in the background.
You are halfway through a sentence in a document when a small window slides in and says it noticed you are writing, and would you like help? You did not ask. You lose your sentence, close the box and start again. Whether an assistant helps or annoys often comes down to when it chooses to speak.
The short answer
A good rule is that an assistant should speak when you ask, and stay quiet otherwise. Speaking up unprompted is only right in a few cases: you set up a reminder or alert yourself, it is about to do something that cannot be undone and wants your yes, or it needs one specific piece of information to continue a job you gave it.
Everything else is an interruption. Interruptions are not free. They break your train of thought, and getting back into a task takes longer than the interruption itself.
What happens step by step
An assistant that waits to be asked
You are working. The assistant is idle and is not looking at the screen or listening.
You trigger it, for example with a key press, and ask.
It looks at the screen at that moment and answers, out loud or on screen.
It goes quiet again when the answer is finished.
An assistant that speaks up on its own
It has to keep watching to know when something is worth saying.
It decides, on its own, that the moment is right.
It interrupts, whether or not you wanted that.
The second design needs the very thing many people do not want, which is background watching. The first design avoids it by construction, because there is nothing to react to until you speak.
Walk-through: an assistant that waits to be asked
Say you are reading a long article for a class and you hit the phrase "marginal cost". You press the key and ask, "What does marginal cost mean here?" The assistant looks at the page, finds the sentence, and answers in a few words: it is the extra cost of making one more unit.
Here is what that did not do. It did not offer a definition of every term on the page as you scrolled. It did not interrupt when you paused for ten seconds. It did not read the other tabs you had open. The help arrived at the exact moment you wanted it, and was about the exact thing you were looking at.
Now count a hypothetical cost of the other design. If an assistant volunteers a tip six times during an hour of reading, and each interruption takes you twenty seconds to dismiss, that is 6 × 20 s = 120 s, two minutes of pure dismissing, before counting the time to find your place again. With asking first, the cost of unwanted tips is zero.
When speaking up is right
Before something irreversible. If an agent is about to send a message or pay for something, it should stop and ask.
For alerts you set. A timer or a scheduled reminder is an interruption you chose.
When it is blocked. If it needs a choice only you can make, one short question is better than guessing.
For safety. A warning before you delete something permanent is helpful rather than annoying.
What it can't do
Know the right moment without watching. An assistant that waits to be asked cannot notice that you are stuck. That is the price of not watching.
Read your mind. If you do not ask, it cannot help with something you did not realise was a problem.
Replace your own judgment about interruptions. What feels helpful to one person feels intrusive to another, which is why settings matter.
Privacy and control
Ask any assistant these questions: does it look at my screen when I have not asked, does it listen when I have not asked, and how can I tell? An honest answer should be easy to find. A clear signal, such as a visible indicator or the need to press a key, helps you check it yourself.
DuckyHelper listens and looks only while the pill is open, and nothing is heard or seen when it is closed. Mac uses fn; Windows and Linux use Ctrl+Shift+Space. Agent features that act in your apps are early access, and they check with you before a message goes out or money is spent.
Try it yourself
For one day, notice every time software interrupts you with a suggestion you did not ask for. Write down how many were useful. Then decide which of those you would rather have to ask for. That list is a good way to choose settings in any assistant you use.
Frequently asked questions
Does quiet mean the assistant is less useful?
Not if it answers quickly when you ask. It trades occasional proactive tips for focus and for not watching your screen in the background.
Can an assistant be proactive without watching?
Yes, in narrow ways: scheduled jobs and reminders you create yourself run without any watching, because you set the trigger.
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